Я бы переписал эссе Лауры следующим образом:
Я бы переписал эссе Лауры следующим образом: According to the chart, far more people live alone today than did in 1850. It is clear that in 1850-1900 the 17-36 cohort did not live alone; however, the trend began to gain pace in 1950. In 1850, it was primarily individuals aged 37-64 who lived alone. Finally, the 17-26 group joined them in 1950 - the year when the largest figure was recorded for the 55-64 age group. By 2000, all age groups showed a rise in one-person living, and the figures overall increased sharply. In conclusion, living alone had become popular among both younger and older people by 2000. 👆 я взял за основу эссе Лауры и просто исправил ошибки. По уму, конечно, надо менять структуру на четырёхабзацную, которая является стандартом для IELTS Writing Task One.