Давайте посмотрим, чего от Вас хотят экзаменаторы в Discussion Essay на Band 6 и Band 7:
Давайте посмотрим, чего от Вас хотят экзаменаторы в Discussion Essay на Band 6 и Band 7: Some people believe that children should be taught how to manage money at school, while others argue that this is the responsibility of parents. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Давайте разберём два эссе на один вопрос: первое написано на уровень Band 6, второе - на Band 7. Я объясню, чем они отличаются, чтобы было видно, за что экзаменатор снимает баллы. Версия Band 6 (~265 слов) Nowadays many people think about financial education. Some people believe that children should learn how to manage money at school, but other people think that it is the responsibility of parents. In this essay I will discuss both views and give my opinion. On the one hand, parents know their children very well and they can teach them about money in real life. For example, parents give pocket money to children and children can learn how to spend it. Also, children copy their parents, so if parents show good example, children will have good habits. On the other hand, some parents have no money knowledge too. They can teach wrong things to their children. At school all children can get same information and teachers are professionals. For instance, in many countries schools have special lessons about money and it is useful for teenagers. I think both views have good sides, but I support school education more, because not all families can teach children about money and school can give this knowledge to everybody. In conclusion, school and parents both are important, but in my opinion school is more important place for financial education, because it is available for all children. Почему это Band 6: эссе понятно и отвечает на вопрос - обе стороны обсуждаются, мнение есть. Но лексика простая и с повторами (money, children, parents), есть грамматические шероховатости (some parents have no money knowledge too, both are important), связки базовые (On the one hand, For example, Also), аргументы поверхностные, а развитие идей неглубокое - одна мысль на абзац без второго слоя.